How to Catch a Dumper Troll:

As Dumper Trolls are very nomadic, they always work alone, but still congregate in groups, and often have a strong family unit. The trick with catching Dumper Trolls is to get them to crawl into a large enough box (they are about 12 inches [33 cms] tall, and about 6-8 inches wide) shaped like a piece of lego (which involves just sticking a few jar lids to one side). This, coupled with the fact that the box must contain lego pieces, will get them giddy with excitement of hurting people’s feet, that they will crawl into the box and try and retrieve all the pieces of lego, and/or attempt to make hump the inside of the box

It doesn’t take a keen intellect to pick up dust and movie it around, or drop lego in places that are going to be stepped on, and this suits the Dumper Trolls especially, as they are incredibly stupid.

So stupid, in fact, that if they are surrounded by at least 270-degrees of confined walls space, then they will assume that they are completely trapped, and give up trying to escape. A box of any description usually fits in with this requirement, and once a Dumper Troll crawls in, and stopped trying to get it pregnant, they will eventually realize that they are trapped (even though they actually aren’t, as explained above), give up moving, and go into a sort of hibernation. While in this comatose-like state, they will give off a strong pheromone which alerts other nearby Dumper Trolls that they are inescapable trapped in a lego-shaped box.

This is where it gets interesting – you now have to use the Troll as bait for the other Trolls. The best way to go about doing this, is to simply move the box on its base – so the open side is pointing up, and the blood starts rushing to the Troll’s head. I’ll explain this in a tick – What you need to do now is get a simple pillow case, and hold it open near the lego-box. Now – the blood rushing to the Troll’s head will uncontrollably affect the pheromones it’s giving off, altering the message from ‘I’m trapped nearby in a lego-shaped box’, to ‘I’m trapped nearby inside a lego-shaped box, and when you find me, jump inside a pillow case that someone’s holding open for you’.

Now, as Dumper Trolls are incredibly stupid (as previously stated), they will believe this message, and proceed to do so. Whatever happens, do not let them get into your pillow case, but leave it open for them. This will make them get very upset, and will begin pleading with you to let them get into the pillow case. Tell the Troll, that you’ll only allow it inside your pillow case if it tells you why Trolls leave dust under your bed (if you want, you could also get it to tell you why they leave lego lying around for people to step on). When he gives you the answer, let him in the pillow case, and then along with the unconscious troll inside the lego-shaped box, stick him in the oven which you should have pre-heated to about 180 degrees Celsius.

Dumper Troll meat is a rare delicacy and sells exceedingly well at most meat markets. It tastes pretty good on sandwiches.