Who’s eating you?
In a transparent attempt to see if humans really are as stupid as they generally act a company called ‘Blue Mountain Nutraceuticalsâ„¢’ has released a product called ‘Sweet Releaseâ„¢’.
“What is Sweet Releaseâ„¢?” I hear you ask!
Shut up idiot I’m talking… Sweet Releaseâ„¢ is, according to the website blurb:
a product that changes the way men and women taste and smell: an oral supplement that alters the scent and taste of your sexual fluids. Imagine the confidence of being able to enjoy oral sex, the most intimate of sexual acts, knowing that a sweet delicious taste and scent is coming from you, coming from within.
Ok, you can put your eyebrows down, we are all just as mortified as you!
I guess the next question that you have is “what flavor?” – and it’s a good question too, after all if they were marketing Sweet Releaseâ„¢ Snapper flavor or Sweet Releaseâ„¢ Sort of Chicken flavor then you’d be forgiven for seeing right through their ploy! But no – they go on to explain that:
The female formula of Sweet Releaseâ„¢ changes her fluids to a delicious soft citrus flavor and the menâ€™s formula changes his fluids to a wonderful crisp hard apple. Sweet Releaseâ„¢ adds the incomparable taste and scent of succulent fruit to our oral sex lives.
Ok… what really scares me about this product though is that I could not find any explanation on the site about how you are suppose to administer this fluid enhancement… I know you take it orally, but, God, I hope that it’s a pill!