Latest Posts

Uncovering the ‘Field of Stupidity

I have a theory about human intelligence and how it is effected by the presence of one or more motor vehicles.

Ever noticed how a seemingly normal person becomes a completely mindless doofus when they are seated behind the wheel of a car? Ever noticed how, on the highway (freeway), in instances of traffic build up, you see people take stupid, life threatening risks just to gain a place or two in the pack?

Then “read more” to discover why these thing occur!

Here’s my theory, and while not yet totally refined it is observable! It’s my belief that something to do with an automobile has an effect on the level of intelligence of any human who comes near it. While this effect is usually minimal (and probably has something to do with an electromagnetic field, not because that has anything to do with my theory, but just because it sounds technical).. anyway, usually close contact between a person of average intelligence and a vehicle will result in little by way of observable diminishment of said persons intelligence. But, like everything in this world, there are exceptions to that and some people are effected to a greater degree than others.

Now, because the effects of this are generally small they are pretty hard to observe unless you find a location with many vehicles in a small area.. like the freeway.. but this is a risky and possibly fruitless, due to the fact that you yourself may fall victim to the very “field of stupidity” that one is attempting to observe. And there’s also the possibility that traffic conditions may not be as predictable as one would like.

However after managing to observe the “field of Stupidity” in it’s most unencumbered form today, in the Camberwell Safeway car park I was able to construct the following graph which shows the degree of effect that the presence of motor vehicles can have.

As you can see merely entering the realm of the shopping center car park can reduce even a member of Mensa to a state similar to that of a “wheel of fortune” contestant…

I will be applying for a government grant to follow up on this research so please.. keep paying your taxes.

Share Button

5 Comments


    ppht, I already read that in ‘New Scientist’ magazine a few months ago.

    oh, and you spelled ‘literally’ wrong.

    I guess you had a few* before you wrote this.

    * cars around you

  • HA HA HA HAH A!!
    That’s funny – took me a minute to click – but then I got it… Oh furious, you are the master of the funny… as if you read new scientist!


  • Hi Principal Skinner, Hi Super-Nintendo Chalmers!

  • Salami
    Shutupayahface

    I do too read it.. well, I used to


  • SKINNNERRR!!!