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Buzzmoo in Robot Wars!

The Age has published an article dealing with an escape attempt… However this is not your run of the mill type “I’m bustin’ loose” convict shenanigans! The article posted earlier today reveals that the attempted ‘escape’ was perpetrated by an ‘intelligent’ robot called ‘Gaak’.

Gaak is one of the robots being tormented by boffins in South Yorkshire (I wonder how far that is from Essex!?) in an experiment design to study the ability of robots to ‘learn’ in an environment where they battle amongst themselves for minor upgrades. Apparently Gaak was removed from the robot ‘enclosure’ (‘coop’, ‘dormitory’, whatever!) when he decided to bugger off and actually made his way out of the building!

This is clearly a cover story designed to throw you (the unsuspecting reader) off the true events that have taken place here. I believe that Buzzmoo has in fact made his way through the Essex’s under brush and escaped to South Yorkshire where he has reprogrammed this ‘attack bot’ to confront his pursuers, granting him time to make further ground…

Quoted in the article is one “Dan Lowthorpe, 27, from Sheffield” who played a major part in defeating the rouge bot, stating:

“I have visited Magna a couple of times in the past but came on this occasion especially to see the new robots.”

Undeniably a coded message to members of his Essex based donkey shagging cell that ‘the coast is clear’ for them to continue pursuit of our MIA investigator [code name: Buzzmoo]. The fiend continued with his charade by adding:

“You can imagine how surprised I was when I nearly ran over one on my way in. I knew the robots interacted with each but didn’t expect to be personally greeted by one.”

I will attempt to keep you up to date on Buzzmoo’s plight while I continue to assume his identity by updating his website and dating girls from his chess club!

We can only hope that the EOL-van has not fallen into enemy hand it’s unroadworthyness and superior technology could unhinge the balance of power in this pursuit of … whatever!

Bless you Gaak – you will not be forgotten!

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