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GHOSTS FROM SPACE!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

The European Space agency [ESA] has posted an interesting little article about ‘dead’ scientific satellites that are left to wander through our galaxy forever stealing the heads of small children and gullible idiots!

Ok, so I made up that bit about the head stealing… but the rest is true! When scientific satellites have completed their assigned missions they are ‘literally ‘turned off’ and left to their own devices. These satellites are referred to by boffins like Mission Operations Officer at ESOC [ESA’s European Space Operations Centre in Germany] Guy Janin, as ‘ghosts’.

Some ‘ghosts’ are in low enough orbits to be drawn back into the earths atmosphere and are burnt up completely. In 2014 just such a thing will happen to ESA’s Infrared Space Observatory [ISO]. The ISO was used to give science type people a (very) close look at the Universe for 3 years. Other ‘ghosts’ are destined to float in space forever.. while they slowly, and surely draw their plans against us….

Ok, I made that last bit up as well, but satellites like the International Ultraviolet Explorer [IUE], which, despite sounding like the title of a float in a gay mardi-gras, served boffins for no less than 15 years longer than its originally intended mission of 3 years, continuing to intercept ultraviolet light from objects such as comets and supernovae for 18 years all up – before scientists beat it to death with baseball bats… ok, I made that bit up too – but the now ‘dead’ satellite was turned off in 1996 and will (barring any unforeseen giant alien space craft slamming into it on their way to kill us all) continue to lurk about in space for millions of years to come.

“We continue to monitor where these satellites are, but the possibility of a collision is so remote that we don’t bother calculating their exact positions,” says Janin. “If they were in Low-Earth orbit, which is very busy, that would be another story.”

One disturbing aspect of all this is that, should one of these ‘ghosts’ decide to return to earth and enslave us all, ah la “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” then we’d be screwed! And this Janin guy is no help at all:

“You see, the satellite transponder allows us to communicate with the spacecraft. Once we shut the transponder down, the satellite is ‘dead’ to us. There is no easy way of reviving it,”

Yet the ‘up side’, despite the risk of imminent death or possible enslavement at the hands of space mutated dead zombie satellites, is that all of the data gathered by these missions is archived and is in constant demand from scientists all over the world… IF any of this data will help us fend off these hideous marauding robots of death is yet to be seen… but, so help me – don’t ever let me hear you say that you weren’t warned!

Source: [ESA]

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2 Comments

    Tharg says ..
    [I]”We continue to monitor where these satellites are, but the possibility of a collision is so remote that we don’t bother calculating their exact positions,” says Janin. “If they were in Low-Earth orbit, which is very busy, that would be another story.” [/I]

    .. that smells like a cover up!
    Why , just last week ASIO’s best Spy satellite was wiped out by a slow & elderly Volvo driver who’d missed his turnoff on the Cahill Expressway.
    Ok , so I made that last bit up .. I don’t know what road it was.


  • Elroy, whatever drugs you’re on….. Can I have some???

    Contempt