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Easier to pronounce than Warmambule: pt 1

Almost a year ago now… last Christmas if you want to be precise.. the good lady Barberella’s family bought us a “two nights accommodation” style holiday in Warrnambool… pretty much in an attempt to get us out of the house for a while. Well, like I said it took nearly a whole year and a phone call from the hotel saying “use it or lose it” before we did, but we managed to finally take the trip.
Now, I wont bore you with the “touristy” stuff.. I will however bore you with the usual sort of crap that I go on with!

So, if you’re a glutton for punishment here’s part one of the travel journal that I kept during the trip ~ read on!

The plan was to take the “great ocean road”and head along the coast and up to Warrnambool that way. However as we approached Geelong on Sunday morning the traffic was abnormally heavy. And as it was pretty clear that a lot of the traffic was headed for the Great Ocean Road [GOR] the good lady Barberella and I decided that we’d head inland and make our way home via the GOR instead.

We took it pretty easy, driving along and taking in all the sites that the country side had to offer… that pretty much consisted of stuff that looked like big green fields, cows and bails of hay!

We got to the town of Colac at about 1:30 pm and decided that it looked about as good a place as any to grab a quick meal.. and where better to do that than in a Fish & Chip, Burger joint that the 80’s forgot! The Trocadero Cafe was the place for us! It could have been the fake brick wallpaper, maybe the Benson and Hedgers clock, the sun bleached Paddle Pop ice cream posters or maybe it was the poorly tuned TV atop the coke fridge with whatever random sporting event was being played on the day trying desperately to announce itself through the static, but there was something about the place that took me back to my childhood.. It certainly wasn’t the food, because had I eaten there as a child there’s no doubt that I’d have since expired.. much like the curtains decorating this place!
Over the noise of the frier and the exhaust fans I’m sure there was a communication error during the placement of my order. I requested a Hamburger with the lot – what I got was some sort of meat substitute in a burger. At this point the most likely candidate for the identity of that “substitute”is cardboard, but we’ll have to wait for the test results to be certain! I’m not sure what Barberella had for lunch.. I mean, she ordered a steak sandwich, I’m just not sure that’s what she got!

Just as we were leaving Colac and the thought that there had been nothing of interest to photograph for the loyal readers of EOL crossed my mind, but as luck would have it, right at that moment we drove past a store that screamed out to be photographed for exactly that purpose!

Back on the road we made a b-line for Warrnambool, but still managed to enjoy the drive, despite the odd drop of rain it was a great day and, as if mooing out the windows at the passing cows wasn’t enough to keep us amused, the conversation (inside the car) ranged from debating the merrets of reading the works of Douglas Adams to out right arguing over the pronuciation of the word “Concerto”.

We were at the hotel and relaxing in our apartment by 5:00 pm. Now, if you’ve not experienced Warrnambool at 5:00 pm on a Sunday afternoon then let me tell you a little about what you’re missing out on…. NOTHING! Everything, with the exception of another mburger joint to have escaped from the 80’s was closed! No, that’s not a typo – the vortex that sucked the place into our timeline had clearly slammed shut on the neon light spelling out HAMBURGER, leaving the H and A back in the decade that gave us Knight Rider.

Well, clearly I’m exaggerating about that being the only thing open – because I’m about to tell you that we did in fact find a pub and managed to grab a counter meal for dinner. And while you’re probably one step ahead of me at this stage and have guessed that i’m about to complain about the food, I do have to establish that Barberella’s meal (according to her) was something to beheld! Mine, as you so adequately guessed, was another matter. It was something that involved seafood, Scollops and Prawns to be precise.. well, no, if we’re being precise then I have to say “allegedly”involved Scollops and Prawns. I’m pretty darn sure that there was a hefty load of sea dwelling life in there.. I’m just none too convinced that much of it was from either the Scollop or Prawn family!

After leaving the pub, Barberella and I walked around of a while trying to get the various items we’d eaten throughout the day to come to some sort of comfortable arrangement with our insides. That achieved we headed back to the hotel and curled up and got on with some industrial strength relaxing!

Continued!!! (including a surprise guest appearance and your guide to cheese world!!)

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    No wonder
    There’s all sorts of stories that go around relating to the “people” who live in towns such as Colac that are situated in our state’s west. From all that I’ve heard Elroy, the best comparison for Colac that you would be familiar with would be Orbost. The kind of place that you just want to avoid, and when people come back with stories such as yours, well… what can I say? What does one really expect from towns such as these? You’ve learnt your lesson for next time we hope :)

  • Furious
    I like the cut of your jib!

    I can’t wait to find out who this mysterious appearing ‘guest’ turns out to be!