Points for effort?
I was stirred this morning, from a premeditated sleep in, by the good lady Barberella’s kiss good-bye. Regardless of my state of consciousness, before leaving for work I’m lucky enough to receive such a parting gift each morning, usually (if so inclined) I continue to sleep, however this morning I woke, perhaps by the kiss (goateed, sleeping beauty, style!) or perhaps it was the sounds of the crescendoing storm outside, bucketing the E-Shackâ„¢ with vast quantities of rain water. Either way I was prompted to suggest that it would be wise if I drove Barberella to work rather than have her pursue one of Melbourne’s historic trams. The good lady Barberella insisted that she would be fine and won the brief and one-sided exchange over the matter with a sleepy me.
No sooner had she rushed out the front door, when mother nature let out a clap of thunder which shook guilt to the surface and me from the bed… it was foolish of Barberella to have gone out in the rain, I felt bad for letting her and decided to remedy the situation by catching up with her and driving her to work in the, rain free, E-Automatrixâ„¢ – An opportunity for easy brownie points and a day of feeling that I had done a good deed one would think…
My clothes and I stumbled into an uneasy accord, the agreement was that they’d keep me warm, the ones that were on backwards would keep quiet about it until I returned from my mission of mercy and I promised not to expose the mismatched combination to public scrutiny. With that arrangement in place I used my crusty eyes to locate the keys to the E-Automatrixâ„¢ and plundered out into the storm in an ill-attired pursuit of a, no doubt already drenched, good lady Barberella.
I did manage to locate her, she was drenched and I did complete my mission. Yet despite the obvious brownie points earned I can’t say that I feel those ‘done a good deed’ feelings that I was after, when I clambered from beneath the Daffy Duck doonah, earlier this morning, have surfaced – you see… something happened that has left me struggling with the ‘inner elroy’. part of me thinks it’s pretty funny, but a bigger part of me feels quiet guilty about what transpired.
The plan was this: Head toward the closer of the 2 tram stops to the E-Shackâ„¢, if Barberella was not to be found there bust out a U-turn and head for the other tram stop and pick up my brownie/good deed done points…. Well, I pulled up opposite the closer of the 2 tram stops to find that there was no Barberella there – just a different cute little brunette.
So I wait, in the bucketing rain, for an opportunity to bust that U-turn I have planned. The traffic is pretty heavy, the windows of the E-Automatrixâ„¢ are fogging up something chronic and I’m aware that all this time Barberella is exposed to the elements. The opportunity arises for my U-turn, so I take it….
How was I suppose to know that the gutters on the opposite side of the road had filled to over flowing?
I hit the apex of the turn and begin to accelerate out of it – traffic is bearing down on me so I make the move fast (but safely) – unfortunately I hit the body of water that has over flown from the gutter right in front of the aforementioned tram stop and all I can do is watch as the suffering and no doubt already miserable, unnamed cute brunette is forced to ‘river dance’ as my car sends a thick sheet of water at her…
I feel like such a bastard!