An idiot with too much time…
As if I don’t already give enough of myself to you people, I thought I share with you all the sort of torment that greets me whenever I fire up my ICQ client… this is an actual conversation that I was unfortunate enough to have been a part of:
Furious: oh by the way, I have been reading post-Return of the Jedi fiction, ive noticed that the stories never go back to Endor’s moon. for any reason. at all… and I’ve found out why.
Elroy: why’s that?
Furious: THEY ARE ALL FUCKING DEAD!
Elroy: i don’t follow… or care.. but do continue.
Furious: when i say Dead, i mean the Ewoks.
Elroy: oh – and HOW did the ewoks die and who do I have to thank for it?
Furious: Endor’s moon is roughtly the same size as Earth – it has the same gravitational pull (given the Ewok’s size, id say that the gravity was probably heavier.. then again, given the size of the trees it could be lighter).
The Second Death Star was about 160kms in diameter (according to sources.. i think its actually a lot bigger).
It’s orbiting geosynchronously around the moon at about 2000kms altitude (so it can stay in the shield), it has a fucking powerful laser, powered by an ever more powerful reactor core.
Elroy: I get what you are saying – the debris from the Death Star impacted on endor and kill the little ****s.
Furious: Now. blow up that reactor core, see what kind of gamma radition you emit on.. well, everything!
I’d say that after the first two years the fallout dust might have settled, but anything larger than say… a rat would not have survived.
‘specially not that Gravox thing in Caravan of Courage.
Elroy: you’re putting far too much thought into this.
Furious: i could go on, especially about that geosynchronous orbit.
Elroy: I know.. it keeps me awake at night!
Seriously people.. is this anyway for a grown man to spend his time?